With all the rage and commotion going on around me about my situation, I had to be outright honest when I say I did not feel any different than before. So all of the attention I was getting was a little stupid. I wasn't trying to come off as rude or ungrateful or anything. No, I was glad people now knew I existed as something other than the girl who could make a kickass cupcake. What I didn't like was the attention. I'd lived my whole life, or at least the twelve years of it, living invisible. Now, obviously, it was impossible to be invisible, what with our poplulation size being so small, but I wasn't the most interesting thing ever...is what I'm trying to say. See, it all went down like this: The Elders found out about my Encounter and cornered me, asking question after question and whispering to each other, and then taking me to the Temple and checking to see if it was true with a test, which was just me fiddling with water and I guess I passed because they all looked real happy and congradulated me; my parents praised me repeatedly and so did many others; the-boy-I-disliked-from-class was thanked profusely for saving me; my brother was more quiet, and avoided me at school. Although the Goddess of Water had kept her promise on helping my brother, and he did make friends now and was more open at school, I felt more like I lost him. With my parents so focused on the quickly growing interest from people all around, my friends captivated by the attention that came to all of us as a group because of me, and my twin brother giving me the cold shoulder, I felt more alone than ever.
And yet I wasn't.
Four other girls, my exact age, had gone through the same exact thing with the other Elemental Goddesses. The Goddess of Earth: Senna, the daughter of two very active and exercize-loving, weapon specialists whom was planning on following in her parents' footsteps; she had been rock climbing with her parents and suddenly slipped and, if not for the Encounter, she would have surely met her doom. The Goddess of Wind: Maria, daughter of a mechanic and cook whom was planning on following in her father's footsteps, with her newfound fondness of cars; she had been on top of a ladder, looking for some pieces for her father, when her foot slipped, and had the Encounter in midair. The Goddess of Fire: Rem, daughter of a beast tamer and a recently late mother, planning to become a Math teacher; she had been practicing taming a dragon, and it became frustrated and blew fire at her, intending to burn her flesh, when she had her Encounter. The Goddess of Lightning: Suki, daughter of King, Princess and Heiress to the throne; she had been practicing her Power and it had backfired and almost consumed her, when her Encounter occurred; in the royal family, lightning-control was the trademark ability. I noticed the pattern: You must have had a near-death experience to have it. Which was unnerving.
~~*~~
"Why are you all by yourself?" Jagger asked one day. Ah, Jagger, how could I forget him? He was my very best friend, since we were five, playing on seesaws and building mud castles together. His hair was platinum blonde now, where as, back then, he was dirty blonde, and his hair color was getting lighter and lighter as the years passed, as well as his eyes. Back then his eyes had been a gray color, now, amazingly, they were two different colors--left blue, right green--and they were getting lighter with a silvery tint.
I shrugged. "I'm weird." He sat down next to me, on the dirty ground of the park. He handed me a juice box and we both drank in silence, watching other kids run around, playing games. For a moment, I imagined a bubble around us, protecting us from watchful eyes and scrutinizing glares. And I felt safe, because that's just what Jagger did to me. I felt comfortable, and accepted, and, right then, that was just what I needed. Even in the silence that would seem awkward to anyone who didn't understand us, I felt like I belonged, right there, sitting beside Jagger.
And yet I wasn't.
Four other girls, my exact age, had gone through the same exact thing with the other Elemental Goddesses. The Goddess of Earth: Senna, the daughter of two very active and exercize-loving, weapon specialists whom was planning on following in her parents' footsteps; she had been rock climbing with her parents and suddenly slipped and, if not for the Encounter, she would have surely met her doom. The Goddess of Wind: Maria, daughter of a mechanic and cook whom was planning on following in her father's footsteps, with her newfound fondness of cars; she had been on top of a ladder, looking for some pieces for her father, when her foot slipped, and had the Encounter in midair. The Goddess of Fire: Rem, daughter of a beast tamer and a recently late mother, planning to become a Math teacher; she had been practicing taming a dragon, and it became frustrated and blew fire at her, intending to burn her flesh, when she had her Encounter. The Goddess of Lightning: Suki, daughter of King, Princess and Heiress to the throne; she had been practicing her Power and it had backfired and almost consumed her, when her Encounter occurred; in the royal family, lightning-control was the trademark ability. I noticed the pattern: You must have had a near-death experience to have it. Which was unnerving.
~~*~~
"Why are you all by yourself?" Jagger asked one day. Ah, Jagger, how could I forget him? He was my very best friend, since we were five, playing on seesaws and building mud castles together. His hair was platinum blonde now, where as, back then, he was dirty blonde, and his hair color was getting lighter and lighter as the years passed, as well as his eyes. Back then his eyes had been a gray color, now, amazingly, they were two different colors--left blue, right green--and they were getting lighter with a silvery tint.
I shrugged. "I'm weird." He sat down next to me, on the dirty ground of the park. He handed me a juice box and we both drank in silence, watching other kids run around, playing games. For a moment, I imagined a bubble around us, protecting us from watchful eyes and scrutinizing glares. And I felt safe, because that's just what Jagger did to me. I felt comfortable, and accepted, and, right then, that was just what I needed. Even in the silence that would seem awkward to anyone who didn't understand us, I felt like I belonged, right there, sitting beside Jagger.
"You're not weird," he said after a while, meeting my eyes briefly before looking back out at the rest of the world. It wasn't to reassure me, I knew, but, rather, to remind me. "You're just different. You're unique."
"Aren't we all?" I asked. He looked at me, confused, and I smiled emotionlessly. "You're unique...just like everybody else." He smiled back ruthlessly.
"You know a little too much to be a tweleve-year-old." His expression took on a playful one. "Careful, Hana, they might just put you down."
I laughed. "Like a wounded horse?"
"Heck yeah," he said. He poked my side, and we both drank juice in comfortable silence.
~~*~~
It all started very simply. The constriction of my freedom drove me wild. The fact that I took action surprised not only the rest of the world, but me as well. But it was just so stupid. They believed that now that I was who I was, I could do no wrong. So that's how this all started. The finding of the beast within me was quite accidental, and yet it wasn't. They brought this out on their own. This was all their fault. Or so I told myself.
One wrong move, one simple slip of the tongue, one mistake, and I was suddenly a crimminal. At the age of tweleve, I was so notorious, I was surprised there wasn't a bounty on me. One bad judgement, one stupid decision, one childish act, and I was being contained in a cage like a monster. And I suddenly hoped for my old life back. Because the hard, emotionless glare in those mindnight blue eyes made my heart wrench in two. Because my little brother would never, ever smile at me again.
~~*~~
No longer did I feel the biting cold I once did, nor the painful loneliness. The darkness was blinding, but I had no need to see. The life and color had been sucked out of my life as it was. I needed nothing but the things they gave me. Because I was nothing without them. Thoughts were useless here. Happiness was but a dream.
Do they think of me, like I think of them? Do they wish they hadn't judged me so harshly? Or do they smile smugly because they know they won?
Frozen in ice as I was, emotion was nothing but a vague dream that I no longer saw. A hope I no longer had. Because I was nothing but a monster. Because I can still see the look in her eyes. The fear in those big brown eyes... No longer was I the saint I was before, no longer invisible to the world, though the world was invisible to me...
If I told someone of my pain, would they take pity on me? Or scowl at me and say it was what I deserved for losing control and slaughtering young life so coldly?
~~*~~
It was the heat that brought me back. My eyes had been closed for so long, that they opened with the hesitation of the shy little girl I used to be, and saw nothing but the webbed patterns of pale blue, silvery strands of what was once coal black hair, pale white flesh of what was once coffee-cream brown. Nothing but the nothing I had seen for the longest time. And, in the fear of being hated, I closed my eyes, and waited for it all to go black again. But it didn't and that, for some reason, angered me. I supposed having no emotion for so long had left me with nothing but the bitterness I never had the chance to feel, never had the chance to show. And so it happened. The control I forgot I had kept in check all this time crumbled to pieces, and I felt the surge of power I did that fateful night, and I suddenly no longer felt scared, no longer felt nothing.
All around me, bright and eerie, the light of my power, glowing in my peculiar prison, and then a sharp crack and I was free. But the terror I felt as I realized nothing was happening to the perpetrator. Or, rather, I could do nothing to the perpetrator. Because the most beautiful green eyes were staring right at me, and they gave me nothing to fear, nothing to hate, nothing to hurt, and I broke down for the first time in the longest time.
~~*~~
With those green eyes, kind smiles.
With those green eyes, gentle hands that took away the pain.
With those green eyes, promising reassurances.
With those green eyes, the warmth of a home.
With those green eyes, granted peace of mind.
With those green eyes, I fell in love.
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